I can only speak for myself, but personally those things wouldn't even mean anything to me if I had to ask her to do them. Kinda defeats the purpose, kwim?
The whole point to a little note is to say "I'm thinking about you; you're important to me," not "OK, here, I'm doing what you asked me to."
So no, I don't think there's a way you can ask for that that won't sound needy. I DO think, however, for your own personal integrity there's nothing wrong with you saying "When you don't do thus-and-such, it makes me feel thus-and-such," or even take it further and say "When you don't respond to these kindnesses, I take it as a sign that our marriage isn't important to you," but I don't think you can ASK her to do them.
Just my two cents, taken with a whooole bunch o' salt from my own weird sitch right now.
