He stayed patient with me. He never criticized me. He cherished me. When I just couldn't do something... he'd give me a hug, a big dopey grin, and say... well... no big deal, let's watch a funny movie.... or go do something else... and off we'd go. He'd make me laugh, and little by little, the confidence I had lost in myself began to grow again.
Following on from Cemar's thread where that was posted yesterday, I just want to run something by you guys.
Since I last posted, and since that quote above, I'm feeling a little more positive about things. We've had a couple of little talks about this where she sounded a little depressed and was saying things like "I'm the least interesting person I know" (meaning she thinks she's not interesting!) and "there's just nothing about me" (again, she's talking about herself), etc, etc. She would NEVER admit to being depressed, but I'm guessing that there's some kind of low self esteem thing at work heren for some reason, and that she's finding it difficult to fully let go of herself - sexually, at least - with me. However, she's said that if/when sex happens, it'll be her choice, and that she "doesn't know" if it'll always be like this", so at least she's not completely drawing a line in the sand, right?
We're still doing the snuggling on the couch thing, there's lots of playful/flirty talk and name-calling, etc, and we had a nice cuddle in bed at the weekend, albeit until the kids woke up.
We're going camping all week next week (with the kids), I've planned a night for her birthday the week after (without the kids), and we've booked a week or so away in July together (again without the kids - woohoo!), so there's lots of positive stuff happening. Stuff that I don't think would be happening if there were any signs of a continuing EA, right?
So here's what I want to run by you...
I'd really like to tell her that I can get by without the sex until she's ready for that, but in the meantime I'd *love* it if she could be the one to ask for a cuddle in bed before we go to sleep, or in the morning (again, I'm not talking about sex). Also whether she could do a couple more little, tiny things that I used to love. Things like replying to the random flirty texts I occasionally send her where I tell her she's gorgeous, and that I love her, etc, and maybe even send the occasional one herself. Same with emails and other notes around the house, blah, blah, blah.
They're just tiny, non-sexual but affectionate, things that she used to do anyway and it would mean the world to me if she could do any of these again. I also think that doing this stuff would be the first steps to getting us back on track again.
So... is there a 'right' way to ask her this without sounding needy or sappy? Arrgh.
Or should I just leave things as they are for the next few weeks, stick religiously to that quote right at the top of this post, and see where we end up?
