I've followed your thread from the beginning and feel a need to interject something here. Your on the same time frame as me and that's why your post interest me. I've been separated 18 months from my stbx, but probably have been emotionally detached for about 2 years.
Acceptance doesn't mean "letting him out of your heart". That won't happen. You may have to let go while still loving him. I had to do it with my stbx.
The benchmark for knowing when you actually let go of him is when that resentment and all the other ugly emotions are gone for good. There will be no closure for you until that point. Don't consider your love for him as a reason to hang on.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
