Why do these things happen

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PS. it is one of the major reasons I am so frustrated with W, but also even though it is not her reason, it was big enough to send her for a major loop, it just all came out at the wrong time and did nothing to help. Unfortunately it had to come out, not proud of it but I was so close just prior to all this "S**t" to take a walk into the clouds and find my maker if I did not say anything. With all that said I still truly love her and hope she can understand in the long run and see that my drinking was not to hurt her, it was my way of staying sane for many many years, then when I saw the light, the only way to fight the alcohol was to come out and tell her. Not trying to be cryptic here, it's a short story that just not ready to post here, but am thinkning of doing it anyhow.