I noticed that you got the bomb 2 weeks before I did . When my H left, he had his mind made up, which was very hard for me to accept. He continued to call me everyday and come by just about everyday. We even renovated a room together--all the while we were separated. He never said the "I don't love you anymore" phrase, but he never said that he still loved me either.
We went to counseling together but he was there just to help me with closure. I felt we were making some progress. The counselor felt we were making some progress, and then, BAM...H told me during one of our counseling sessions that he was ready to file for divorce. Even our counselor was taken aback. I made one last attempt to save my marriage. I wrote him a 6-page letter explaining why I thought we were making a mistake getting a divorce, and listed many reasons why I thought we should work on our marriage. I know it was against the DB principles, but I was desperate, and I don't recall reading a chapter in the DR book titled "Desperation." The difference with your case is that your H doesn't want a divorce. Of course, it's unfair to you because you're the one who is waiting.
I believe it's Michele who talks about pressing forward with the divorce and see if that wakes the WAS up. If it's not Michele, I apologize for the inaccurate information. I've read so many self-help, self-healing guides on marriage, separation, and divorce that I get the authors mixed up.
I'm not sure if we can post urls from other websites, but here is a website about mid-life crisis by Pat Gaudette. If you type in midlifeclub with the usual before and afters, you will find an article titled, "HIS Midlife Crisis! Will Your Relationship Survive?" by Pat Gaudette, founder of The Midlife Club. It's an excellent read. There is also a community forum, but the posters are not helpful and friendly like on these boards. If you post a question on the "Men with MLC" boards, they get very defensive that you're asking a question on that particular board. The board is actually for males going through MLC, so they are on edge. I think they are also experiencing PMS as well .
Please read the article, and let me know what you think.
All my best, alamogirl
Me - 48 (at time of 1st bomb) H - 43 married - 16 Jul 94 no children 1st bomb - (said he was leaving) - 3 Jun 06 2nd bomb (said he was ready to file) - 10 Nov 06 H filed divorce - 17 Nov 06 Divorce finalized - 20 Jul 07
. When my H left, he had his mind made up, which was very hard for me to accept. He continued to call me everyday and come by just about everyday. We even renovated a room together--all the while we were separated. He never said the "I don't love you anymore" phrase, but he never said that he still loved me either.
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