Madonna/Whore Part 3

[COG]

Heywyre,

Here's my 2 cents, FWIW.

I think that having your H show you his cell phone bill every month is not only snooping, it's almost worse than snooping. Most everyone on the board, including Michelle in her books, will tell you that snooping is generally a bad idea. So not only are you snooping, but you are humiliating your H every time you snoop. At least if you were snooping behind his back, he would only have to be humiliated if you found something wrong. But this way, he gets to feel like a looser every month when he has to show his mommy his report card.

Leading in to my second thought that it makes you look too much like his mother, his madonna. The woman on the pedistal to whom he must face and answer for his actions. It puts you in a dominant role, the mothering role, the wrong role if you want sex with him.

And why see the cell bill anyway? I'll answer that for you, because you are afraid. You've been burned once or twice and you are not going to get burned again. Well here's some news, there are still pay phones around that he can use. There's email and snail mail, and a car, etc. If he's inclined to cheat, he's gonna cheat, and if he does it again, you'll catch him again without snooping.

Think of it as if you were just dating him, and wanted to get to know him better. Would you ask to see his cell phone bill then? Would you demand that he account for his time away from you? I know it's hard because his actions indicate he can be untrustworthy, and you've already been burned. That makes it all the more difficult, and requires all the more courage, strength and faith. Fear, jealousy, and the need to control another human being are not going to help you get where you want to go.

If he offers the phone bill then fine, but I would suggest you give it right back to him, just toss it aside like the rest of the trash. Stare at him with a fire in your eye that says you trust him, you admire him, and you want him HOT! Now that's something worth obsessing about.

Love,

COG