Thanks cat. I have ordered "For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men". I am looking forward to reading it.
The issues that we seem to have a problem with aren't about money, kids, him moving home or anything like that. It is really hard to explain what we argue about because I am not even sure I understand it. One issue we have seem to be having right now is about sex. I have pretty much always the initiator and I still am. The sex has been great since we separated (he said it was getting mechanical before he left) but he now isn't sure that we should be having sex because he thinks it might be sending me mixed signals. So this is where the problem comes in...having sex seems to be one of the few ways that I can feel close to him right now (although I do know that right now it is probably just sex for him). He has started to become hesitant about having sex now and I get frustrated because I want so badly to feel close to him. So, when I get frustrated my H doesn't think I listen to him.
My H thinks that I have control issues as well. One of his examples is that because sometimes I would be disappointed if he chose to have "guy time" instead of spending time with me. I admit that I have done that and I know now that was a big mistake, but I also know that he had opportunities to have "guy time" and chose to work instead. I have promised, when he does come home, to give him more autonomy but he doesn't believe me or maybe he just doesn't want to. At this moment he thinks he has all of the control and I am not sure if he really wants to give any of that up.
