I haven't yet gotten to that place in my mind where my marriage could end, but that I would be OK with it. I wouldn't be OK with it if it happened to me. What I let go of was the thought that "I have to make this work." It was just too taxing.
I didn't used to have the fear either -- just frustration, anger, loneliness, HORNYNESS -- all of that stuff. But never FEAR. Well, I had the fear at one time. It really was hard on me having fear.
BB once said she didn't worry about me having a gf on the side or in the future because she thought (at the time) no one would want me. That did create some fear but I know what she said was more about her mental state, than about me. Dumping the fear was really good for me.
just frustration, anger, loneliness, HORNYNESS Sometimes I have those, and sometimes I don't have those feelings. Still working on me. Right now, I can't tell you want works best to reduce some of those feelings.
Working helps some for me. Having other people appreciate things I do for them helps. I know OP have good sex sometimes (LFL, HD, me-well sex anyway) that helps. I have an acre that I mow with a non-self propelled rotary mower. That burns up frustrations and energy.
I see you are involved with your kid's activities, you exercise, and work. Those are good.
The “one-day-at-a-time,” I know that helps. BTDT. Having a moral compass, good. This forum and your cyber friends; can't do without them. WTG folks.
I do think, however, that I'm going to have to get to that place where I "let it go." The ol' "you don't really have something until you're willing to let it go" thing. My take is. Are they overly picky/critical/self absorbed, etc. The OP doesn't see the same value I do, so if they stay it is their choice
If I get into the "Don't have it till you let it go" mentality, I think this leads people to leaving and thinking you don't care "ENOUGH." The other extreme is holding on too tight. Sometimes letting lose, at least some, the OP can feel less controlled.
Applied to LFL's situation, I would guess she would feel you didn't care and LFL would be hurt. Someone with a foot out the door and in the flush of an A might feel controlled if you hung on too tight. So too mush letting go is bad and too much hanging on is bad.
I don't think csw won by letting go "or" hanging on for dear life.
I have to go on a service call. Keep posting choc.
