Looks like me and ol' CeMar locked up our threads at the same time. Who woulda thunk that the two most avoiding denizens of the board would lock up their threads? Thank you, all, for your help, encouragement, and advice. I re-read back thru a lot of it last nite, and I was simply in awe of the goodness here.
Lou, in response to you, I didn't used to have the fear either -- just frustration, anger, loneliness, HORNYNESS -- all of that stuff. But never FEAR.
Until this time.
It comes and goes now, and I'm trying to take it one day at a time (while having a plan that emcompasses much more than that), but the fear is there. I think the reason it's there is that -- for the first time -- in the face of a confrontation from me, my wife is pulling AWAY, and not toward, me.
OM, and being a real, local guy (instead of an old h.s. flame on the internet) is obviously also more fear-inducing.
I do think, however, that I'm going to have to get to that place where I "let it go." The ol' "you don't really have something until you're willing to let it go" thing. I'm not there yet. I do BOUTS of that, to avoid being needy/grabby, but I haven't yet gotten to that place in my mind where my marriage could end, but that I would be OK with it.
Thank you, all, for your help, encouragement, and advice. I re-read back thru a lot of it last nite, and I was simply in awe of the goodness here.
