Ok now I am convinced that I am oficially nuts....
I am listening to AL GREENE " Lets stay together."
(yes I play "oldies" all day while in my home office... )
and I am being reduced to tears....


I probably should have passed out some WINE glasses before and served GRAPES AND CHEESE TOO.....
I,, no WE have come a very long way to get to this day MAY 21, 2007, we have faced many things together and on our own and even though we fell down many times we both got back up and brushed our knees off and started over.

Many times I felt like I had to go back to square ONE AND START OVER!! But I did it no less.... looking back as I have been reading old posts today and just taking it easy .. I am still sick with the flu yuck.... I REALIZE HOW I WENT UP AND DOWN IN MY MOODS LIKE A ROLLERCOASTER.... ~wow~

.... these days are far more tranquil. I am a year older , 15 pounds heavier and aloooooot Happier. But that is what I love about posting here it is a good place to organize my thoughts!

The AL GREENE song I heard before reminded me of a bittersweet day when we were tripping over ourselves trying to make this better and we were newly Reconciled and I told my H when this song came on that it was a song that made me think of him and he danced to it with me in our bedroom and for the next week he would play it every morning before going to work.

Sometimes I want to take a break from al this self awareness and renewal I am working on and just sit back and enjoy it but I have only recently gotten a feeling of "NORMALCY" so I know that all this hard work is worth it and I need to keep moving forward to get this to an even better place. It feels so good to me to put my thoughts on paper and see how far I have come.

It feels grand and yet there are small moments where I feel like if I enjoy it too much it will suddenly STOP! So I still keep mental notes of what works , what does not and what my H loves. I write it down ( well put it into my computer calendar) when he gives me clues to what he really likes .. the dislikes I just change ..... when he joked with me last week that I hadn't called I realized how important it is for him for me to call even if he is super busy with work and I "ASS" ume he does not need to hear from me.

SO I need to remember that it is a work in progress and keep working. ;\)
God bless...