Need Veteran Piecer's Advice - desperately!!!

[Heartbroken]

Your above thoughts bring tears to my eyes - it is exactly how I feel. I know I can make it without him but I still do not want to let him go. He is pushing me to make a D decision he can't do himself (yet!)... I need to remain strong but then H says I just try and control everything - he feels I am not letting him have choices when all along I have said DO NOT COME BACK UNLESS YOU WANT ME TOO !!!!! How much clearer could I have stated this? I really hate this roller coaster ride!!