NOP, My H reacted about the same as you. In response to my motherly gushing of "Isn't she beautiful?!" he'd say "uhhhhhhhh....I guess......" LOL
However, about a year or so later, he'd say "Boy she really is getting cute" so I know that there are *some* nurturing thoughts lurking deep in his testosterone-fueled kiddie blindness.
I've missed you and the Mrs too! Would you please tell her that today we officially finished 1st grade. I am ELATED!!
Karen, Fwiw, we only waited a couple weeks--never could make it to the 6 week checkup and I was always feeling ok well before then, anyway. So I guess my point is to make it a good passing when your ships are in sight of each other.
...my grandmother looked at her, then me and announced "Well, there's no denying that one". -NOPkins-
My FIL said the same thing to me, re: s4 I actually found it to be a relief, considering s4's origins. (IVF--"test-tube" baby). (and for those who aren't aware: the way that works is, you drop off your gametes at a labratory on a Tuesday, and come back to pick them up on a Friday...and you just hope that they give you back the right stuff. In our case, we know they got it at least half right! )
Thanks HP. I am always ready by about 4 weeks. The key is that H worries about hurting me. I think that he finally stepped up to the plate about 2 weeks after the doctor gave the go ahead.
Tonight I am feeling abandoned. The stupid thing is that I am feeling abandoned because H is working late to make money to support OUR family so that I can take a decent maternity leave and not dump a newborn in daycare before we are ready. Perhpas these are the postpartum weepies coming on - haven't had them yet.
Thank you. He is just lovely and does smell really good. I have this really nice feeling of completion - like wow, what a neat opportunity to love another little one, kiss his soft skin, nurse him, cuddle him and when he runs off to Kindergarten someday I don't think I will have a single regret. I never said to myself "Gee, I really want four children" but four seems to be a really nice number now. My 15 year old is starting to think of driving and college, my 10 year old daughter is starting to experience puberty, my 3 year old is going potty independently, talking like a big girl and I still have a little one to make silly faces at. It is just - Nice!
Of course there is always another side to the coin. My H is doing a lot of work to make up for my maternity leave, he is gone a lot, leaves the house dressed for work and such and I feel weirdly lonely and abandoned. I told him so. I also told him that I appreciate all his hard work. He says he feels lonely too. I wish that our conversations ever made it past this point to new actions/interactions. I liked your list on another thread - I alternate between quite a few of those less attractive choices - moping, hiding, whining blah, blah, blah.... Just depends.
When I saw your thread title I thought it was a line of dialogue from a soft core B Skinemax movie delivered by some hot sexy Amazonian queenn passing judgment on the worthiness of her harem of male sex slaves.
Rats. Had such anticipation.
Nuff frivolity. I will remember to light up a Partagas Limited Reserve while swirling a smart snifter of 12 year old scotch this weekend in your/H's honor.
Although I am not Italian, in the words of a respectful La Costra Nostra paison:
Congratulations on your fine and most handsome masculine child.
-Stigmata-
The difference between a warrior and an ordinary man is the warrior views everything as a challenge; the ordinary man views everything as either a blessing or a curse.
-Yaqui shaman Don Juan-
...and that holds 2x true for nice guy wussies, DJ
Of course there is always another side to the coin. My H is doing a lot of work to make up for my maternity leave, he is gone a lot, leaves the house dressed for work and such and I feel weirdly lonely and abandoned. I told him so. I also told him that I appreciate all his hard work. He says he feels lonely too. I wish that our conversations ever made it past this point to new actions/interactions. I liked your list on another thread - I alternate between quite a few of those less attractive choices - moping, hiding, whining blah, blah, blah.... Just depends.
Karen
Karen, the loneliness is understandable but for both of your sake's be proactive about it. I also have 4 children although we had them in a bit over 5 years. Needless to say money was very tight and I worked very hard. Money issues always stressed my W out. Me, I've always been laid back about it (sometimes too laid back). I figured, hell, I can always make more money tomorrow. Anyway, a decade later my wife still resents all the times I worked 14 hours a day and wasn't there when she needed a break from the kids. The logical man's mind in me says "Hey, you cannot be upset about not having enough and then get upset about how I go about fixing that", but I do understand her perspective.
Is there anything that can be cut back so you could have more time together? Trust me, he doesn't want to miss out on the kids because he is working too hard any more than you want to feel like the kids are all you deal with. Sometimes I think we have so dramatically increased what we define as a minimally acceptable level of monetary success in our culture that we miss out on the important things in the quest to have 3 cars, 800 channels on the TV, cell phones and ipods for the whole family, etc. Consider what it would take to be able to cut back on work, even if just a little bit.
Last edited by Baltoman; 05/22/0712:04 PM.
Gone the carvings and those who left their mark. Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.
I appreciate your post. Actually, we live a fairly minimalist lifestyle. We did put our 15 passenger van on the market since we don't have any foster kids in the house and can now fit into my Ford Freestyle as a family. No need to hold on to it if we don't need it but it will take a group home or very large family to be interested in a deluxe 15 passenger van with dual DVD system. We were also offered a great re-finance deal on our house and are taking advantage of it. Unfortunately, H is now committed to a certain list of clients and dates which as a small businessman you just kind of have to suck it up once you are committed. I go back to work at the end of June so the extra work extends until about that time. When I go back to full salary and full time work he won't need to do quite as much extra although daycare costs will jump up dramatically. We are taking steps to review our outgo and see where we can cut back.
The thing is we seem to be able to "talk" pretty well as a couple. As in, "Gee H, I feel this way..." and H will say, "Oh, I can understand that. I feel this way....." Then I say, "How can we solve this dilemma? What about x,y,z." At that point H diverts the conversation, explains why my solutions couldn't possibly be implemented and the convo effectively ends. I have yet to see his behavior change as a result of a single one of these conversations. It just sux.
Lil - if you stop in... I ordered Mating in Captivity on DVD. I am feeling entirely too domestic and am having annoying urges to "break out" somehow.
)
