Jeff, The "friend" thing is a tough challenge. From what I've learned, there is unconditional love for one's children but not for spouses is why there are so many divorces. Friends may occasionally hurt one another but not continually all on one side.
As offbeat as it may sound, I'd recommend checking out the movie "Just Friends" which is a comedy but is mainly funny because it is based on truths. It answers a lot of the friends questions. Another thing I've learned is that keeping it light and minimizing the drama along with being strong are qualities that are attractive to making/re-making a real friend.
I too, prefer the no contact route. Not so much because it hurts me to have contact but because I believe that people need to disconnect before they can reconnect or else they just stay on the same loop if they stay in contact continually if that makes any sense. Like I put in one of my previous posts, the door is closed but if she knocks and I'm not with anybody else inside at the time, I'd answer.
Final thing learned: Everybody gets through this crud at their own pace, there is a lot of anxiety at first and a desire to rush things, but these things take time. Let me know how things go. Good luck to you too, RJ
