Well...another veteran here...I can follow Cat03's post to a tee...my H did and said many of the same things...
HB...not get too down with this...my H threw the D card at me a few times after he returned...threatened to leave...the first few times I panicked...like you...what about he kids?...etc...
Then I finally felt strong...and basically told him if he felt he needed to leave then I WANTED HIM TO GET OUT....NOW!...he back pedaled big time...I am not saying to do this...like I said it was when I felt strong...it was many times of panick...
Also...getting treatment for his depression would be really helpful...if you can get him to go to the doctor...or if you find out if he has appointment...call his doctor and ask that he assess him...this is what my H's doctor did...and it did help a lot...
Again, he isn't doing anything that other's of us haven't seen...I stated several times that piecing is the hardest part of all the DB'ing...I gave and gave...and I have Cat03 beat...my H couldn't tell me he loved me for nearly 14 months after he returned!!!...that was over a year of me giving and giving...now finally I get the "I love you's"...
All of this is hard...I can feel your pain because it was not all that long ago that I was walking in your shoes...but keep the faith...hold...and keep doing all you can to keep peace...and try not to worry too much....I know this is hard...but he is in a worse place then you...so have compassion for him and take care of yourself...
