MLC with young personal trainer

[Dom R]

random,

I may be crazy but my feeling is that she should "see the light" and end the training as part of good judgment. I have felt that if I tell her to stop, "the blame" would fall on me if she would fail to succeed.

wow, whole buncha issues. i'll try to get all of them that i see...


There's a big diference between TELLING your wife, "You Have To Stop Now, because I Say So".

and "yes, it bothers me that you are so close to this other man. it hurts me. Since you ask, i WOULD like you to stop, so that we can have a better chance to be that close to each other"

That way, it's still her choice. But you accurately show its impact on you, so that she can properly make a choice with full understanding of that.

I don't go to gym with her as she feels like it is the only place that truly is hers (we live in a small town where I am a physician--she feels gym is only place she is not "the doctor's" wife). In fact she doesn't wear wedding ring to exercise and a lot of people ther don't know she is married.

Umm.. to me, that says, "thats the only place that she can pretend that she isnt married, and get lots of attention from men that makes her feel good."

a married person should not be valuing "a place that is 'all theirs'" to the point where it makes them feel like being single.

I agree that a large part of her attraction is the motivation (he?) has given her to change her body and her life.

umm... i dont think you're quite getting it here. I think you're thinking army drill sargent type motivation.
that works good for men, and some women.
but i think that some trainers who target women, coax them into more training (and more sessions with them!) by words like
"you're such an attractive woman.. i can help you show the world how beautiful you are, underneath that little extra layer of ..."

similarly, if you've ever motivated children, you know the power of "that's a good boy/girl!"
That works on big people too!
"Wow, you're such a motivated, powerful woman when you work out! etc, etc..."
Variants on, "you're good enough, you're smart enough (and durnit, people like you)", etc.



Any ladies want to verify/validate what I have just said?

PS: (make her feel good! make her feel good about herself!)