Why do these things happen

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I am not really sure if I would be jealous, seeing them almost seems worse. Especially when I just want to break down and cry. I want keep the good thoughts. I realize this is still very new compared to lots of people here, I honestly do not know how they do it sometimes. I sometimes sit here and just wonder if I could just walk away from it all and just give up, that it would just be better and end it quicker.