Originally Posted By: bit1607


i am not doing anything until after our anniversary on june 3. after that i am going to either file for divorce without talking to her first, or talk to her and tell her i agree with everything she has said and we are better off and tell her that i am filing.

i am racking my brain with this dicision but if i can just stay patient until after the 3 rd and i will worry about it then.


That's about 2 more weeks, that's a good timeframe, especially around your anniversary. Do you think she'll do anything about that? Don't sweat the bad days, they happen to us all - I tend to have bad weekends, but that's me.

Ian is dead on though, we all want to do things for our spouse. It feels like if we do that we can "fix it." You know I'm right there with you, I'm a mess! But I get up, go to the gym, go to work, see a therapist, hang out with my friends or family, mountain bike, go so sporting events, go to church, read good books, spend time with my S, ANYTHING to get my mind on me. Now, I have to be careful because one of my W's buttons is my over-spending, so I can't go spend a lot of money, but YOU can!

I actually have a spending tracker I carry around with me to find patterns in my spending that I can reduce even further. Shoot, I've already cut out buying lunch every day (and dinner, for that matter.) It's actually become a time-killer, and a difficult goal that I have to pay attention to. That takes my mind off things a lot.

Whatever works for you to make YOU feel better (and isnt harmful, of course) go do it.


We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.

3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...