It does help me to say "These are things that make me feel good about ME. These are things that will make me feel more attractive, hopefully to my wife, but if not, than eventually someday to someone else. These are things that are simply the right things to do. These are things that are good to model for my children, especially my sons. These are things that will make me a better husband, ex-husband, father, son, brother and friend. A better human being."
I cannot control how she interprets them. I think perhaps what I'm missing is that there will be BUCKETS of opportunities for boundary-settin -- and enforcing -- along the way, that just haven't happened yet. As I set and enforce those (which I always sukked at), I will feel better and better about myself each time.
Right now, she's just been so even-keeled, that there hasn't been any good chance to flex my new "boundary" muscles, like "Honey, that was a really disrespectful thing to say, especially in front of the kids. I don't appreciate it, and this conversation will have to continue in private if you can't control yourself better."
(or whatever)
Guys, I realize I'm looking horribly confused here, and I'm NOT looking for constant validation and rose-throwing. This "journaling" is therapeautic for me, and helps me clarify my thoughts, my fears, my strategies and my tactics.
I just happen to be doing it all in a room full of strangers, and I have no pants on.
