That's precisely my point. I'm failing to understand how long, slow, incrementalism works at least until BOTH spouses agree that the marriage is at risk, and are willing to roll up their sleeves and work side-by-side at it.
I want to know why the hell I shouldn't tell her/show her "Woman, you WILL lose me completely if you don't start showing me some effort here."
I feel like this putz, sitting on the sidelines, hoping she'll choose me. F$%# that. Until she knows that's a real risk, she is NEVER going to change, and that's the mistake I've made in between my 1st e-mail and my 2nd e-mail. I never should have sent the second e-mail!!! (The "I, for one, am still in love with you" one). My mistake has been not staying on offense, telling her "I don't know how I feel about YOU, either, and I'm not so sure I even want to stay here unless things change, and I see you making some effort, very soon. I think you will find now that I will JOIN you in that, but I will NOT do it on my own, Mrs. Choc."
