I don't want a H who is an emotional doormat or who is overly controlling. He's definitely not the latter. Sometimes I think I test him because I do see him as so emotionally withdrawn.
Makes sense to me. Most women are not all that reassured by the man pitching fits and vandalizing their property. Only when they've been surpressing all their emotions and leaving their wives cut off emotionally from them do they start considering such antics better than continued noncommunication. But it's not the sort of thing that will keep them happy forever.
I suspect y'all will have to go through a few more cycles of this before he's in the habit of being open with you long term... and there'll probably have to be some individual counseling involved along the way.
Originally Posted By: LustForLife
And yes, part of that has to do with him believing that any jealousy is immature and that we should simply trust each other. Well maybe in an ideal world, but that is not the world we live in. It's certainly not an ideal M. So I think I'm actually more realistic than H on many of these issues. We'll see what happens.
It's not an ideal marriage where the partners trust each other to behave themselves? Or it's not an ideal marriage where the partners feel duty-bound to protect each other completely from their own emotions?
I think jealousy is a side-issue... the main thing is that he's been suppressing all of his frustrations and unhappiness instead of dealing with them, trying to hide them from you or minimize them with you. You already knew he was jealous... you were just frustrated that he was holding everything in, including that jealousy.
Also, after several days to reflect on it, would you say that getting an email from OM led you to reinterpret everything your H does in the worst possible light?
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
