You know what jumped out at me, and I don't know how long you've been on it, but I remember the depo shot absolutely messed w/ me a lot! If I remember correctly and this was years ago, but it really messed w/ my drive AND my moods. Also, not saying you SHOULD do this, but when I went off my meds (AD), my drive went through the roof AND I ended up feeling better. I realized that maybe I didn't needs the meds, I just needed to revamp my brain and my thinking/moods, etc. w/o them.
Maybe next time you don't feel like ML, do it anyway and see if that doesn't change things a bit. Like bring you guys closer and make you feel as if you can still reach out even though things are going perfectly?? Just an idea.
I stay on the SSM Board cuz I like the people over here. I don't really think I would put you in the "newcomers" category anyway.
I understand the appreciation/validation issue.
Check out my thread & how I'm feeling this a.m. -- it could apply to you as well
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Thank you, CM. I will check out your thread for sure and *I* really like everyone here too!
I really liked Depo when I was in college. It was reliable and I lost my periods alltogether. I was on it for years.
Well, I think it caused my ovulation to totally mess up. We actually lost our first pregnancy and it was a horrible time for us. I conceived him on cycle day 45, or something, instead of the typical day 14. I believe the hormone levels were not what they should have been to support the pregnancy and there may have been a problem at implantation. We made it to 20 weeks, so technically he was a stillborn. That is how it felt to us too. I had a blood clot in between the placental wall and the uterus. I bled heavily the whole pregnancy. It was very traumatic for both of us. We named him Nathaniel. Anyhow, in trying to conceive our next baby, I realized that I was ovulating very irregularly and very late. So, in a roundabout way I wonder if Depo contributed to the unhealthy environment which led to our first baby's death. I did end up going on Clomid (regulates your ovulation) when trying to conceive Mari. I ovulated on day 14 and had a perfect pregnancy.
Remember when I had said that Joey was looking into a vasectomy? That is the option we are both leaning towards. Now it's just a matter of scheduling and finances. I look forward to being off of any hormones.
I am feeling a bit better today and I'm gonna try to have a PMA and not get my panties in a wad over things if they're "not perfect." I recognize that as an issue of mine.
Mari (the Daddy's girl) told me earlier that she and Daddy were going to the park later and I said, "That was Mommy's idea. We thought it would be fun for all of us to go to the park together as a family." These little things happen all the time and I know I should let it roll off my back, but sometimes they start to get to me when it happens all the time.
Yesterday was MUCH better. A positive day where things felt back to normal. Things started off by me waking up at about 10 again and then he was asleep while D4 watched Shrek. I said, "Why don't you go lie down on our bed where it's quiet?" He said ok and slept until around noon again. I put the kids down for an early nap around 11 and hopped in the shower. When I got out, I told him he should get in the shower while both kids were still asleep, but he was laying around watching Discovery Channel. I could tell he resented me saying something. He kind of said, "I'll do it in a minute," looking out of the corners of his eyes. Instead of getting mad, I said what I was really thinking, "I thought if you got your shower taken and the kids were still asleep, you and I could have some alone time." That was all I had to say! He said ok, and hopped into the shower. We had nice, playful, positive, fun sex. It seemed to connect us all day long.
We went to a nature center and it was a fun day for the whole family. At one spot in the park, there was an observation tower and I asked, "Does this remind you of anything?" He said no and I said it looks kind of like the place where you proposed to me. I told Mari a little about it and a moment later, he gave me a great, lingering kiss.
He did make some comments that I did not like, thinking he was being funny. I'm embarrassed to even post them, because as stupid as they are, they sound even worse out of context. Anyhow, first D4 was "reading" a map in the backseat, helping us find the park. She said, "What's in the pink?" referring to the map. Joey answered her, then said, "Daddy was in the pink earlier," under his breath to me. I thought that was kind of immature, but kind of funny. Then he said, "I'm gonna be in the brown later." All I could do was look at him, albeit with a little half smile on my face, like, "I can't believe this is your idea of humor."
The next comment was when we were laying in bed together after the kids were asleep. We were watching Survivorman, where the guy was living on roasted lizards, and I was saying, "I would just be dead if I were stranded like that." He said, "Not if you were with me," and we held hands. I said, "You're right, that would make me feel a lot better." Then he said, "You could live on my spunk, I hear it's got a lot of calories." He CRACKED UP, and I just looked at him again, with a half smile, like, Whatever.
So, tell me, how would YOU react to these comments? Am I just being a prude?
Anyhow, tonight is his IC session. I hope he is able to make some progress towards his 1992 issues. Mine is in the morning.
I just kissed him gbye and it was really a positive morning. A fly on the wall would think nothing is wrong.
Has he always made comments like this or is he just trying to get your goat right now?
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
zuzu wrote: "So, tell me, how would YOU react to these comments? Am I just being a prude? "
It was a dumb joke, and he knew it, but what do you think would have happened if you had gone along with it and expanded on the joke with your own comments?
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
zuzu, it would at least be the opposite of the reaction he was expecting. The goal would be to defuse the potential rejection.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Maybe if he's not "getting your goat" every time and you play along, he'll quit w/ the comments he knows you aren't going to appreciate.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Thanks for the advice. I guess I'll try that next time. I see what you mean about doing something he does not expect.
It may not be "right" and I know it's not "DBing" but I have pretty much let him know that I had really been trying to meet him on my needs and I was ready to see him meeting me on my needs. When I fill his cup of reducing conflict and showing him I enjoy having sex with him, I want him to give me some appreciation and some romance. You'd think he would get it that these just don't do it for me. lol
When I was telling a girlfriend weeks ago about a similar comment he made, she burst out laughing and said, "I would have said, 'TRY AGAIN!'"
Don't know if you were following along with the little drama regarding MySpace a few weeks ago, but I had at that time created my own page. I have gotten just a few comments from long lost friends, etc. I was asking him some question about how something on there worked and he said, "You still haven't asked me to be your friend." I said, very honestly, "Well, I was kind of reluctant to even bring that up b/c your comments about wanting to keep your page less personal made me think you may not want to advertise my page in your friends." He did not say anything, but I noticed recently that he was added as my friend on MY page, which I THINK means he went in and added it through my account! I may be having a total brain fart and I decided to add him myself late one night and just didn't remember. Anyhow, he ALSO added ME as his NUMBER ONE FRIEND. lol! I thought that was nice. He also "expanded" his friends to show more people, including coworkers and friends. (several with babies, etc., which lowers his "goth" image a bit on his page.) I don't know when he did it, but I was glad.
Any advice on what I should tackle at my IC session tomorrow?
NOP, do you think I should come right out and ask him if he had any interest in posting here? I am scared of what he would think of all I've said already. (yikes) I have been reading some old posts of Calystra's though, and saw that they did that with some success. What do you guys think? Keep the BB to myself for suport or ask him to chime in??
I will check out your thread for sure and *I* really like everyone here too! 