Hello, first of all you must read :"For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men" chances are, you are not listening. How do I know? because I was that way, jumping up and negating whatever my H said because it didnt' go w/the pict I had in my head, not taking his feelings/opinions at face value.
About you both bringing up stuff that creates friction, is it about finances? some issues that haven't been worked out yet? then give yourselves time *another* day to go over those kind of things. When he bring something up listen with all your heart and if there is something you dont' agree try to see it from his perspective. Assure him that you want to reach an agreement w/him. If you listen very carefully, without being defensive, you might learn a thing or two about him that you never knew or had a pre-fabricated idea about.
When I was piecing and my H was back but still unable to give me the love and affection I needed, someone here told me "if your mood/happiness depends on the actions of others, something is very wrong. It is understandable that this sitch is very hard on you. But still take the DB advice to detach, to be in charge of your H, before you emt him you were an independent happy person, find that person again and decide each day you open your eyes to be happy regardless.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
