I didn't magically change from LD to HD, either. My same problems were there for me to confront with my boyfriend. I told him everything, up front, so he knew what he'd be dealing with, and could make a decision.
He stayed patient with me. He never criticized me. He cherished me. When I just couldn't do something... he'd give me a hug, a big dopey grin, and say... well... no big deal, let's watch a funny movie.... or go do something else... and off we'd go. He'd make me laugh, and little by little, the confidence I had lost in myself began to grow again.
I was willing to stay open with him, and I let him know what was going on with ME so HE wouldn't personalize it. I did that for him, because he was being so patient with me.
I knew he also had his own demons to deal with, and to confront. He waded in slowly as well. I didn't take his confidences and throw them back in his face (i.e., how can you be doubtful about anything, you are a MAN!). Didn't make a big production of them, but I did let him know in my own way that I KNEW he had taken a step, and I really appreciated it. Then I let it DROP.
The more I did that, the more willing HE became to open up further.
The only major confrontation we've had so far is when all that began to stop (probably out of habit and getting lazy). That's when I made MY boundary very clear.
