In all the time they've been here, they've both always been open about what they did wrong in their R's and how they would do things differently. In fact, bf has said many times that the alpha male business came about *after* his wife's A...as he was learning what his role was in the whole catastrophe, etc.
I see them as two people who have learned (and are still learning, as we all are) a thing or two about male/female dynamics and share that with others. I'm not sure why that comes across as hypocritical to you..? After all, you do the same--preach about FOO all the while not having resolved your own FOO issues fully.
