I never mind hijacks when they may at least lead to SOMEBODY getting boinked.
What I want is for my wife to come back to me, physically and emotionally, as I am admitting my neglect and coming back to her. I want our family to stay intact, and our kids to have as great a chance possible for success in this already-difficult world. I want my wife to try, and I want this cycle of "wanderlust" to stop once and for all.
I want to be able to break our dysfunctional cycle of:
Choc.: I'm unhappy because I get no affection -- much less sex -- from my wife, and it's killing me.
Mrs. Choc.: I'm unhappy because he's so distant and grouchy, and mainly because I know I don't make him happy. Any fool can see that.
Choc.: "Why are you unable to give me what you know I need, if you supposedly care for me so much, Mrs. Choc.?"
Mrs. Choc.: "Because you seem so unhappy."
Choc.: "But I am only unhappy because YOU are unhappy, and not trying to meet my needs."
Mrs. Choc.: "I don't know if I can meet your needs, or even how I feel about 'us' anymore.
Man, talk about "enmeshment." We are both riddled with guilt that we are making the other miserable.
Is there anything different this time? Yes. Her heart has grown SO cold, that she did not respond to my grief over the state of our marriage, and my "I for one am still in love with you" proclamation.
Also, she now probably has enough confidence in her own body image and abilities to seriously consider trying to make her way in this world without me.
