Also, while you most definitely need to be aware of how her issues are affecting your children and your R, focusing all your attention on HER issues has and will continue to distract you from focusing on your own.
Excellent advise here, Sol. The things in our partners that most affect us are usually issues that resonate with us. The specific problems we see in our spouses are usually issues we are in denial that we have ourselves (or are otherwise struggling with personally). One of the most profound things I got from DB (I forget which book) was to build on the positives. I think this is applicable personally as well as to the relationship. Focus on your strengths, focus on being loving, etc., and avoid being problem focused. Keep at it and try and focus more on what's in your power. What she does doesn't make or break your relationship - what you do does.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
