CeMar: I guess that is why everyone is telling you you have to lose the anger, and allow your wife to see your hurt and vulnerability. I'm sure you've been reading Choc's thread... and he was probably one of the only posters on here who really seemed to understand your POV.
If you are not willing to talk to your W about this directly... would you be willing to send her an email? The girls here would be willing, I'm sure, to help you write it, or at least give you feedback.
Corri
CeMar,
As much as one part of me keeps screaming "You FOOL! Why did you send that e-mail???!", that's really only because I'm hurting. Continuing in my resentful state, with my marriage slipping further and further away was no way to go thru life.
No one else could tell me when that time was right. Everyone on here TRIED -- some encouraging, some cracking me over the cranium with 2-by-6s, and some in-between. And intellectually, I had known they were right all along.
But I had to get it from my head, down into my heart.
It had to be on my time, just as you will have to decide when to act on your time. But they say the definition of stupidity is "doing the same things over and over again, and expecting a different result." You seem like a very intelligent guy, and I think you already know that NOTHING is going to change significantly in your marriage until YOU decide to do something radically different.
I can't tell you when to jump off the stage and into the crowd, my hurting friend. But I can tell you, with all certainly, that there are some really wonderful, caring people here ready to help you when you do. You won't even think you deserve it, but they'll be there for you.
