Yes, addict/enabler would be in the codependency genre. In this case, you may separate yourself, but I take issue with the characterization from your counselors. Maybe you are not a classic codependent, but he is spending the money you earn, i.e. you enable him. I have some knowledge of this subject and have discussed with my counselors (even though it has been 5 years).
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The problem currently is that my H's name is on all of our accounts. How do I (can I?) shut off his cash? .. That is without causing the most certain demise of our M. I guess that is where you are "getting" that I am an enabler?
I would assume that your name is on the accounts too. Is this correct? But you shut off his cash by opening an account in your name and depositing your paycheck in that. As for the demise of your marriage, isn't that what is really going on now anyway.
But I am curious, what has happened with your H in counseling? What do they tell him. From what you say, my opinion is that he is a selfish @$$hole who uses you as his meal ticket. Perhaps the best thing for him, it to cut him off. What do counselors say?
And honestly, I am still having trouble trying to figure out why the Cs say you are not codependent. There does seem to be some of that at work here.
