Do what you want to do..ie, what will make you happy (and keep in mind, you can have no happiness with your H as things stand) so it has to be all about you.
This I can and have been doing. To the point that H has become concerned. He refers to it as me becoming more "independent" .. 'cause I do so many things (that I want/need to do) without him. From that concern my H has moved into getting angry with me about this. He has even "accused" me of seeing someone.
Addict/enabler relationship .. does that also go under the name of co-dependency? I ask 'cause several different counselors (that H and I have both been to) maintain that I am definitely NOT that (at least in the past).. because of the fact that I generally am/have been pretty successful at separating myself from all of my H's "problems".
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And with the additional input from you, I would cut off his cash if I were you. The financial part should be really of concern. He doesn't love you as he is willing to flush you and your son down the toilet. but that is how alcoholics are.
The problem currently is that my H's name is on all of our accounts. How do I (can I?) shut off his cash? .. That is without causing the most certain demise of our M. I guess that is where you are "getting" that I am an enabler? In MY mind, I don't have the option of doing that. If I could, I would.
Yes, I know .. because he is willing to flush us down the toilet .. why would I want to "hold on" anyway? Another check mark in the enabler column, I guess ..?
