I don't get the lawyer part. Why? He doesn't seem to want it, so why are you doing the legal part?
As for the OW taking him back 4X, of course she would. OW's are desperate. What is wrong with her to accept back a married/unavailable man who has left her nultiple times for his real family? Her issues are likely worse than his.
And don't point out that the OW is the manipulator by trying to show him that it is you and the kids being manipulative...he probably saw it already, but it still takes time.
You've been together for 33 yrs, married 27 and have kids--one is D18. What are everyone else's ages, how many kids? Have you determined a trigger for an MLC--12-36 months before bomb--or in this case before the affair went physical or before you found out.
He has returned to you briefly multiple times. He is lost and confused--obviously. And he doesn't want to lose you. He cares more for you than the OW...he actually doesn't care for her at all, if he did he wouldn't have doen this to/with her.
And you seem strong enough to be a Stander...and it seems you don't want out. Go to school...that's great! As for selling the house, is it necessary? Why--is it to finance school. KEeping my house was a major goal through this for me because Sweetheart needed something to return home to--and though I'm a pull for him, an apartment wouldn't have been.
