Heartbroken, I haven't been around, but I used to post in the Midlife crises forum. My H left to live with OW, and came back after 4 months. He stayed grumpy and depressed for another 4 months, before he started showing any signs of recovery. So its quite "normal".
I continued DBing and I must say it was the hardest thing I ever did. I was so afraid that he would leave for good. At the same time I doubted if we would ever make it, if it made any sense to continue. Every day I thought about giving up, and every day I decided I would carry on. I thought that I always have the choice.
Now its 2 years since the bomb. A week ago he finally said that he could not figure out how I had made it, how had I managed to stay so happy all this time, and that he had made the worst thing a man can do. He said he was amazed about the changes I had made. This is what I had been waiting for, some acknowledgement of my suffering and the enormous work I had been doing for the sake of our family. I was a bit worried that with all the DBing he might not even know I'm suffering!!
So what I'm saying is that it takes a long time before the depression wears off. You really have to detach now and take care of yourself and the kids. I made a point of doing stuff with the kids, and asked H if he wanted to join us. At first he preferred lying on the couch, but little by little he started coming along.
Please don't get too sad, you don't have to get sick even if he is! Cherish the baby steps, they will keep coming. Now when H is back to his normal self, I can see better that he really was sick.
Dauphine
M40, H41, D12, S10, S7 Married 13 years H left apr 2005 H came back aug 2005 piecing for the rest of my life...
