I am giving her alternatives....trying to be loving, not angry....
\o/\o/\o/ This is the only way you will see real results Sol. What is the old saying? You'll catch more flies with honey...
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if we don't get our issues worked out in a safe and professional setting, with other people involved, our M will just be the way it is....unsat.
Your W certainly has issues that need to be addressed...just don't forget that pulling it all back together requires 110% effort from you too, and that the biggest part of this is finding the strength and doing the hard work to change the ways you react to W's tactics. Tread lightly here Sol--she may need to see some real changes on your part before she feels safe/strong enough to even want to work on herself. Your failure to change keeps feeding the current dynamic--the vicious cycle.
Also, while you most definitely need to be aware of how her issues are affecting your children and your R, focusing all your attention on HER issues has and will continue to distract you from focusing on your own.
I know it's hard to remember those things when you feel like you're being used and abused, but somebody has to step up and stop the cycle. You've already dealt with a lot, you're strong enough. Hang in there--I'm praying for you and hope that everything works out for the best.
