Not a whole lot new going on here. My wife seems friendly enough, but still distant, as if we've discussed NOTHING, and it's really starting to pizz me off. Why doesn't this bother the chit out of her??? I'm dying inside, and she acts like there's nothing extraordinary going on whatsoever.
I'm trying to be patient, but I'd like to know WTH it is I'm looking for next, either "this would be a good thing" or "this would be, uh, not so good."
I've been thinking about this a lot: WHAT, exactly, is it that I'm LOOKING for in these next few days from my wife? I know what would be a BAD thing (I should have day/times options for first MC appt. tomorrow, if she balks at that, that would be a huge problem; or, if text messages with OM indicate that they're only being "careful" for now and buying time until my wife can convince me to separate; and a thousand other BAD things i can imagine, and would certainly recognize).... but what would be the GOOD things that I'm looking for from her next? This is gnawing at me. I wake up every day, hopeful that "progress" will be made, however small, and yet I can't define "progress." What is it that I'm looking for here? A self-exposure where she admits to me about the OM, and tells me she was a fool and shut that down? Some sort of "mea culpa" about her coldness and her distance? Simple kindnesses, god forbid in my love language, like a small touch or a held hand?
