HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[forward]

Lisa, I think you did fine. Don't worry about being textbook perfect--I've screwed up, too, but am working to hold to the basic ideas.

Maybe I'm not one to give advice since I am not successful at this time but I am also feeling a bit optimistic today (definitely a roller coaster ride).

Just reiterating the basic DB conversation dealies, since that's probably your best focus for the time being.

-If he initiates R conversation, avoid it until he starts to show some signs of wanting to work on R (you done good!)
-No I love yous.
-Don't be too quick to answer phone (if you usually are).
-End conversations first (I would add--try not answering at all sometimes. You are very busy after all.)
-Don't defend yourself.
-Try agreeing w/him when he says he's not sure about things. "Me either. Maybe you're right."
-If asked about changes in you, be vague. Say you are thinking about the future (this is my favorite).

Hang in there, sista. No matter what happens, you are a strong woman and you are going to be OK.

I am finding that this whole situation has made me stronger.