Need another opinion, is my W OM, friend or more?

[andyv]

Hi OTB,

I really would like to save our marriage.

I did have the best sleep I have had for several months, I am glad we had the talk yesterday. I have been so exhausted and drained.

As far as goals go, I am hoping that the talk will smooth things out (as there has been a lot of tension between us). I am hoping that she will feel happier and less stressed about things she is going through.

I am hoping that with time, she may feel comfortable enough to start doing things with me (and DD), like she used to, even after the bomb we did things together (which has deteriated to nothing now).

I hope that her home life will be a much more happier and fullfilling, and the need for OM's friendship and companionship will lessen.

I understand that he is just a bandaid for her, that with all the pestering of her family and old friends and myself (regarding what she is doing), at least OM did not pester her and she could "switch off" with him.

I also got a call from BIL, and he told me that when he spoke to W, that she mentioned "He hasn't changed, he will be nice for a few weeks, then go off at me".

When we spoke yesterday, I told her that the only reason I have gone off over the last several months, is due to one thing and one thing only, OM. I told her that there was a vailid reason the the last two incidents, one when I found out that I had funded a movie and meal for the tight arse when W, OM and DD went to the movies (I did not want OM near DD, especially on a "date").

The other time was when I found out that he was over for dinner on Fri night (with DD home), whilst I was out.

Two pretty good reasons.