i don't feel like a studd i just kind of am following my heart. i don't know why i have held on for so long but i have i just have something inside me that says don't give up.
for some reason i don't think she is certain that this is what she wants.
i guess i will pma and give some reasons to why i think my wife still loves me.
-she hasn't filed or takin me up on going and getting this thing behind us
-she has been more friendly on the phone which a couple of months ago would have been hard to believe.
-she is still giving reasons to why we are seperated which leads me to believe that she still is wrestling with the decesion.
-she gave multiple signs before moving out that she still loved me. do i think it is a waste of $ for her to move out. we should start buying a certain wine for the house told friends we will start having kids next year said the seperation won't lead to a divorce said seperation is only temporaily. said our last night together wasn't our last one. came to one of my games and said she will come to alot -she called and got my mom a mothers day gift. would this be done if she was certain that she wanted to go. wouldnt she start breaking away from this.
-she did so much convincing of herself and others how great she is doing which i know for a fact is not true.
-she is buying alot of emotional type things that she can't afford because she wants to feel better. i think she is probably digging a hole for herself knowing that she can always come home.
-when i validate she backs off.
-you don't call someone 12 times over a car.
there are many other positive signs
my things is once she moved out she just backed so far off and her wall got so much stronger. why?
See, I like that post a lot more than the last few. Look at all those positives. Why she's holding back I have no good idea, but it's not YOU (or at least not just you). She needs to come to grips with her own demons and exorcise them! Then she can come and be the wife she wants to be in the marriage you guys deserve to have. If you're doing your thing it will rub off on her and she'll feel better. Allow yourself to have a loving, harmonious relationship with her regardless and it'll work out. You know I'm jealous that you have any contact with her at all
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
these are just some of the reasons that i havent thrown in the towell yet. sometimes i think i am an idiot for sticking it our although it was such a short marriage. my friends all say how can you ever trust her again and that is another thought. am i really going to be able to be with her and not worry about this happening again. i can't believe i am still on the ride after all this time.
well just got email from wife that she needs insurance info again. i wonder why she emailed and didnt call? who knows it was very friendly she asked for it again nd said she was sorry she needed it again. she also said i hope your doing well. she would never had asked before how i was a couple of months ago. in my negative mind though i think it could be because she is getting over me. her anger is def. goin down. i will respond tell her tel li am doing well and thanks for asking.
If things get worked out, you HAVE to trust her again. you're working this hard to get her back, you will be able to trust her. you forgive her and start over. Granted you don't have much history so starting over may not have the same effect as it would on, say my situation, but it's still meaningful.
I know my wife is feeling similar - she doesn't know if she can trust me. I'm guessing that is a HUGE deal for her. I hope we find out soon.
Just do like me and hope for the best and watch for those little positive changes. See if she'll read DR or something? I don't know. I'm as lost as you, I'm just 100% committed to my wife, my son - my family so I'll be here for as long as it takes. I will never give up. They'll have to drag me kicking and screaming to sign any papers - ever!
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
thanks for the post. we are all kind of throwing darts at the board hoping to get a bulls eye. i don't know what to think. i have no expectations but for some reason i have a gut that tells me not to give up. most of my friends don't quite see how i could ever trust her again but i would b/c i really don't think the woman i have seen lately is the girl i married.
but she seems to be coming back and becoming happier with herself which is a must. why she is doing this i don't know but i need to figure out how to be a friend when she reaches out. i am not sure me calling is the best thing but i will play it by year.
