Sorry, haven't been online the last few days, but have been thinking about you.... it's funny people you don't even really know can enter your thoughts and you can worry about them. BTW, I have been wanting to go to Florida for two years and haven't been able to either... so don't feel too bad... but do try to do something to make your birthday special. And because you don't know the area where you live right now, why not try to have lots of "discovery adventures" with the kids. Get out a map and plan to visit different places locally to see what it's like. Get a picnic together and make it sound like the funnest adventure on earth!!! You guys will have a great time. Also, when I didn't have a cent last summer I took myself and the kids to lots of fairs and events (free ones!) I know here in California everything seems to be starting up this month. Strawberry festivals, Greek Festivals, etc... Those can be inexpensive and lots of fun. Take the kids, take photos, have an awesome time (and send photos to the dumb hub so he can see what a great time he's missing with his pubescent "daughter" grrrrr!).
I remember having lots of stomach aches and feeling sick about my husband (the good thing about this is I couldn't eat, lost weight and everyone started telling me I look AMAZING!!! So.... sadness and depression can have it's benefits... so the moral of the story is don't eat!). Use that feeling to your advantage.
As far as your own lawyer taking care of everything! Wow, how nieve is your husband???!!!!! Mine would have never gone for that because if you are paying and your lawyer is working for you, you will come out ahead. Your husband will get the VERY short end of the stick. That's actually a very good place to be if you do get divorced. I realize you don't want to go there (I never did and and tried to make my divorce last as long as possible even though that meant I had to worry about money as well...), but you have to look at all sides of the situation.
Why does he get the TV? Is this an extra one? Don't let him take anything but his clothes, personal junk, and photos of the family (memories!!!). Let him pay for new stuff (heck, let OW buy it!!!). I'm glad you had a police officer get involved. He has been invading your space way too much at this point. You have a right to have some down time (or to go "dark" for awhile). If he needs anything let him know you will leave it in a box on the front porch and he can pick it up at such and such time (and choose a time when you aren't there).
There was a time I wanted little contact with my husband too. It is disrespectful of him to push himself and OW on you. I'm glad you are standing up for yourself. You have been kind and patient and if he can't allow you space you are entitled to be a little forceful about it. Actually, I think that might be a 180 for you. It shows some strength. I'm sure it gave him something to think about! He wants this pretty, "everything is hunky dory" situation and you are standing up for yourself. Good for you!!!!
Now try to stay calm and cordial... but hold onto those boundries.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
