Need Veteran Piecer's Advice - desperately!!!

[Heartbroken]

Piecing Veterans: I really need some advice, H is just getting worse emotionally. I know we are in piecing for real, he has not talked/seen OW in over 9 weeks and he is so sorry he went that route. For the first few weeks we were GREAT, but now I am emotionally carrying this R and he admits it. I asked how we started so strong and he thinks he was using 'us'/me to get over OW. H also feels he has used the apartment separation as a 'drug' to help in avoid the issues at home. H said last nite if I said I wanted to D right now he would agree.

He feels hopeless b/c he had no choice in giving OW up, since I, our kids, our friends and family would not have accepted their R (DUH!) so he knew he had to end it with her and now his only choice is to be back with me. But that is his dilemma he feels nothing not bad, not good towards me or us. He just feels hopeless. He thinks he's in depression and I know he is. H is tired all the time and is soooo sad, he is making me soooo sad and I think my tears are pushing him away again and I need to understand how to get back into DB'ing again, not that I have stopped just not going at it like I was when we were in crisis mode. The only positive thing he is doing is jogging 3 or 4 times a week.

H goes to a C on Wed. and I fear he thinks she is going to have the magic answer of why he had an A and why he is so unhappy. I am grateful he sees the need for C, it took him a long time (he always wants to fix things on his own).

My questions: Is this depression normal for WAS when they return. I know he is coming back b/c the kids want him here but will he just break our hearts once again when he leaves for good?

Why am I so negative, I was much more positive when facing the OW sitch than these internal issues of his. I feel so tired of just trying and just want someone to care for me for ME, I feel so sad and selfish right now and I got to figure out how to rise above it once again before I help screw this all up again... I have realized I need to go back to see my C again too. I plan to call on Monday.

Any wisdom from this team would be so appreciated. I just feel so lonely right now. I fear losing him for good this time. How many times can a heart be broken?

Thanks for your help, understanding, kind words and your use of 2X4's...