{{{Choc}}} I know you're in a tough place right now but I really admire your strength AND your ability to reach out and ask for support/advice and then use it. I have a lot of respect for people who can do that since it's one of my weak points. I, along with many others, are out here pulling for you.
Cemar, What are your thoughts on the responses so far? Would it make you see things any differently if you thought that perhaps you had some unreasonable expectations?
Bear
The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.
--Marcel Proust
