Basically, you can't dwell on the past. It is SO HARD. I catch myself thinking of all the times I could have started 180's and didn't (I didn't know that's what they were necessarilly, just could have made changes and didn't for my own selfish reasons). But you just have to think positive and look to a bright future. Will my future be as bright without my wife, not for a while, but it can still be bright. Then, you work on yourself, make yourself the person YOU want to be. then you pray like your knees were glued to the ground and get the help you need from above and maintain hope and faith. At least then you know you have someone on your side.
Believe me, I an right there with you in the same boat. Just show your husband your happy side, try to be his friend, and let him make his changes. It could take a long time, you'll find people in here that have been at it for years. I'm amazed at that, but it happens and there are success stories.
Good luck, I hope you get your miracle!!!
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
