I'm new to posting, although I've been lurking in the reading shadows for a couple months now.
My sich: H announces in January that he's done - that we had a good run but he can't stand the idea of a future with me and he's out. He had moved out some things without me knowing and so that day left to stay with a friend/colleague. No OW, no overt anger, just quits. I was floored. I knew things had been less than wonderful for a number of months, but I really never expected this. Now we are four months and counting into a "civil" separation -- still no tantrums or accusations - really - no OW, no extravagent living, although with all of the stress, H could be in MLC. He comes every day to pick up the boys for school, but ventures nothing remotely suggesting reconciliation with me - no talk beyond short responses about day's schedule, no accepting anything from me, no hints at love in the midst of the kind civility. Truth be told, we can't afford to divorce without throwing everyone into financial chaos, so H agreed to call off any D moves for a year while I get my head around things and we get finances into better shape. I found DR and DB early on, along with about every other book out there, and have been trying the LRT like crazy. Trouble now is reading too much; I have moved from analyzing him to analyzing me and I keep feeling like I missed my chance, that there are so many things I didn't do. Everyone keeps asking me if I'm angry and why not but I'm not - I hurt too much for him and me. I'm better than I was before, but... Both H & me are in IC, and S2(13)is too; S1 (17) will go after school gets out (anyone know any good 4 for the price of 3 deals on Cs? ) We tried MC for a few weeks but C didn't help and H decided he had had enough - probably ended for the best since H wasn't ready. I've lost 30 lbs and everyone but H says I'm looking good, and I'm not sure how to proceed with being loving & detached. I've seen on posts suggestions about refinding the me that H fell in love with, but she was just barely 17 and I don't think I want to be her even if I could be. Some positives from H come and go, but I was wondering how others deal with the remorse and sadness of lost chances?
) We tried MC for a few weeks but C didn't help and H decided he had had enough - probably ended for the best since H wasn't ready. I've lost 30 lbs and everyone but H says I'm looking good, and I'm not sure how to proceed with being loving & detached. I've seen on posts suggestions about refinding the me that H fell in love with, but she was just barely 17 and I don't think I want to be her even if I could be. Some positives from H come and go, but I was wondering how others deal with the remorse and sadness of lost chances?
