No, you're right, Lin. I know it's not time for a R talk, and I'm very proud of myself for how long I've held out having one with him. I hope that is another reason I have been getting positive responses from him. I have been just fun to be around, not ever sulky or clingy, but rather fun-loving and flirtatious.
There just does need to come a point where I can't "share" him anymore and will need to decide what to do at that point. I also don't want to continue having to feel as bad as I do today on a continuing basis. I still have so much work to do, and it's so hard to keep focused when my world is turning upside down. I WILL get through this, just like all the rest of the times. It's just been a hard day, and I so much want to just shake him and ask him what the heck he is thinking and doing. It's hard not to feel used, I guess. And the thoughts continue to creep into my mind that my H is sleeping with another woman and I am allowing it to happen... That's just a hard one to swallow.
I'll get through this. I hate it so much, but I'll get through it. We have taken enormous strides from where we were, and I just need to work on not letting myself get so excited about it, because then the potential let down is so much worse...
