I'm still having a really hard day today and need you guys' support. I had my appointment at the job site, which went well. Then I decided to treat myself to a movie. I went to see Spiderman 3. It was good, but I found myself crying... And when the movie was over I went into hysterics crying again... Had to take another Xanax, as I have another appointment at the job site in about a half an hour.
I decided to call H just to check in and say hi and ask if he wanted to go to the car races tonight and maybe ask his parents to go since I knew he was suppposed to be over there working on his car today.
I'm probably just being sensitive, but he seemed so cold when he answered the phone and while he was talking to me. He said he was working on the car and that things were going okay with working on it. I asked if he had thought about going to the races tonight, and he said that he didn't really want to go, that he wanted to get as much done as he could on his car. So I've now asked him to do quite a few things with me in the past week or so, and he has said no to almost everything. Even yesterday he was hesitant to even want to take me to the park.
Guys, I just feel so lost today. What is coming over me? Why am I hurting so bad? I feel like I've lost so much ground. And I'm probably just being overly sensitive to his actions, but I'm just hurting so much.
I wasn't able to talk to Jody today unfortunately... I wanted to get her input as to what I should do. Part of me just wants to break down and talk to him and find out what's going through his mind, but then the other part of me doesn't want to risk losing what we've hopefully gained. I just feel "strange" since he left early Friday morning, like he's pulling away from me a bit. I don't know if he feels guilty for being with HER and so it's easier on his conscious of he's not as nice to ME???
I just want this day to end... Help, guys!!!! I need a hand up.
