I feel how overwhelmed you are and I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to hold it together and not just stand in your front yard and scream out all the feelings that you have. Question - besides here where can you share your feelings? Is it time to get a personal counselor, make use of clergy, sibling, best friend? I think everyone needs a place to get rid of the stuff that floats to the top when you are going through a "crisis" period.
You are doing terrific and I think your response to the "bad timing" was great. There will always be another occasion, always be a bad time. Exactly when would be a good time to say "thing are falling apart" ?
