And I sooo appreciate the encouragement, Believing. I really do. You people are what's keeping me going -- you and those eight big brown eyes I just kissed goodnite.
I feel how overwhelmed you are and I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to hold it together and not just stand in your front yard and scream out all the feelings that you have. Question - besides here where can you share your feelings? Is it time to get a personal counselor, make use of clergy, sibling, best friend? I think everyone needs a place to get rid of the stuff that floats to the top when you are going through a "crisis" period.
You are doing terrific and I think your response to the "bad timing" was great. There will always be another occasion, always be a bad time. Exactly when would be a good time to say "thing are falling apart" ?
Thank you for the kindness of your note. I really appreciate your concern, and it occurred to me that I did need exactly that.
I have decided to keep things very simple for now, as I need a singlemindedness of purpose. I have a team to help me.
We are going to go to MC, together, and I may also see someone just for me.
I have reached out to my sister, who knows me well, knows my wife well, and whose prayer and Christian perspective are needed right now. She is my spiritual guide on this, and we are going to be working thru some issues.
I am working with NOP on the OM stuff, tactics, etc., privately just in case W or OM should read here (my wife has begun some internet searches now for "troubled marriages" and such).
Finally, this community here. This is where I get my encouragement, the first-hand accounts from other LD women, the kick-in-the-azz from the alpha males, and thought-provoking questions and challenges to myself.
I'm off to the gym to work out. Both W and OM are there this morning. Time to brush off the steely look and put on the jacket.
When I walked in the gym, OM was working behind the counter, alone. He didn't see me at first, as he was looking away from me, and he was about 20 feet away. So I let out a big "MIKE!!!" He wheeled around, looked at me, and looked like he had seen a ghost. "Howyadoin'" is all I gave him, he looked like he wanted to be chatty, and I kept on walking.
After her last client left, I didn't see my wife for nearly an hour. Usually, she would come over, say hi (particularly since I hadn't been to the gym in 3 weeks), or at least wander the floor a little. Didn't see OM, either. I finally finished my workout, and saw another girl who I know, working the front desk. "Did Mrs. Choc. leave??" I asked her. She seemed a smidge nervous, or it could have been my imagination. She called for my wife, who was in the little back room (open door) right behind the front desk, and guess who she walked out with. He immediately started babbling and joking and talking at the same time my wife and I were talking.
They were definitely talking about SOMETHING. Because they're close to the 3rd girl, and they usually all hang around together at the front desk and shoot the chit. Had it all been innocent, the two of them would have been out there with her.
Mrs. Choc. took D18 to go get her graduation gift (a watch) sized. I'm taking S14 and S10 to the ballfields to watch a game and to practice a little.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
I agree with NOPkins. It would have been easy to start spouting "what were you guys doing back there, what were you talking about" type stuff, but that might have come across as whiny and grabby. I don't mean for this to be trite, but I think when they walked out together would have been a really good time for a Spock "one eyebrow raise." kwim?
At any rate, you REALLY got OM unsettled, which is good, but it may mean he will start power plays of his own to save face. I'm betting he's going to cook something up with your W soon. Be ready.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Yeah, but you don't truly mean that. Remember what your objectives & goals are and don't let anything cloud those. I mentioned on my thread that I just got cell bill and it all comes tubbling back. He had massive amounts of minutes and I know it was all EA/OW. Hopefully you can just keep things on the right track and everything will end up falling into place as time moves on. It's hard though b/c we want everything to be fixed NOW.
Hopefully once you guys start seeing a C, you can really get down to what needs to be said & done to start moving forward. Right now the OM is just a glitch in getting started on the moving forward part.
I honestly believe if you just keep doing what you're doing, she's going to realize what she would lose -- what would she want w/ some young, clueless kid? I mean honestly!! Have you still been doing the little touches, etc.? Looking good? Get her engines revved up for you by teasing a little bit, you know?
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
