Funny how you and I see the same thing and posted at the same time….. I meant to say one other thing in my post and yours reminded me.
I used to think as you and Blackfoot, that once someone betrays you, move on an never look back. As practical advice, that makes sense because you cannot force someone to change if they are bound and determined not to change. Also, most people do not understand relationships or themselves to even know what to change.
Bunt on this board, with the knowledge so many have, I now only hold to this view for those who have real problems, like personality disorders or untreated hormonal imbalances, genetic problems, something like that. If a person is otherwise “normal” I think ALL relationship and personality problems are just a matter of education, conditioning, training, hard work and a TON on patience and tenacity.
So turning your back on a cheater might be the best practical move, but it is not one I believe in anymore. Even cheaters only cheat because of deeper issues. Cure those issues and the cheating stops. IMO, the issue is not whether they are serial cheaters, but whether both spouses have it in them to work on changing.
