Hmmmmmmmmm - what concerns me is this...whenever you drop out of here and into your "cave" you seem to come back with harsher and harsher reviews of the situatiion with your W and your part in it. I'm not sure what happens during the "cave" time but it seems a whole lot like what happens to me when I get quiet. Me quiet rarely leads to good things for myself and those around me. In my case, me chattering about aimless bs is my natural state. Yours is different but the end result is similar. Make no mistake - you are entitled to your time to reasses, live your life and think things over. Just be sure that the conclusions you reach are not a result of "stinkin thinkin".
FWIW - I don't disagee with your decision about your W. My personal code on infidelity goes something like this - If it is within the first five years - Goodbye, If there are no children to consider - Goodbye , If it is more than once - Goodbye, Otherwise - case by case. I know that sounds strange but I see early infidelity, recidivist infidelity and a few other things as being evidence of a weakness that wouldn't likely lend itself to a good marital recovery. The no kids thing - that is all about strings - fewer strings, less complex exit, both people can start over. IOW - everyone has their line in their own spot. I assume your W knew where the line was.
As for you, young man (I'm joining the wise cows) - how about you quit managing people and situations and just live a little. Take a lesson from Mojo (scary, I know) and revel a little. Revel in being the Captain of your own ship, getting to choose who your crew is - let some real life women into your inner circle - they might bite but I'm guessing that most of the wounds will be superficial. Personally, I sometimes wish I had taken some time after my D to just let a few men tell me how wonderful I am, how lovely, etc... Why? Because at least there would be fond memories that could hold me over while the one who said he would love me above all others ignores me.
As for me, I am enjoying the unconditional love of my small, very male, bundle of joy. He really does mostly love me due to his dependence on my breasts but heck - there are worse things to be loved for!
