Why do these things happen

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Damn, teach me to say I am going off to read another thread, not sure how long it took to read yours. Not that it is good, but my problems with wife seem like a cakewalk compared to what you have been going thru. Yes it is hard not to snoop, and wonder what the heck they are doing, but you have too. Believe me, I want to all the time and so far have not done once.
I also have not figured out the letting go part, or at least appearing that way when you are still in love, but I am doing it, at least I think I am LOL.
Good luck and I will check up on your thread later.