I totally understand what you mean and wish that someday my H understand this need that I have..."the need to be understood" So often I say or do something...or even try and explain something to him and he goes off thinking I meant something totally different...or he rejects me because he doesn't get where I am going...to be understood...truly understood is a glorious thing...and if my H just once said "I am trying to understand what you mean...."...I would fall all over myself..
But all is not lost in your situation 789, the fact she is "waffling"...not sure of what she wants says volumes of hope still exists...I didn't get this reassurance from my H when he was "out there"...it took lots of time and diligence on my part to take care of me so that I would be someone he wanted to return home to...but I feel I did that...
Thanks imLin, I agree the "waffling" all of a sudden and without me saying a word is a great feeling but I also do not want to make it so that I take it wrong or to fast so I will just continue as I have been, no snooping, being helpfull when needed, and giving her all the space she wants, etc... and pray that with how I am now taking care of myself it will show that I am for real to her. I don't remember if I put it in here earlier, but along with stopping drinking, the excersizing and eating better than I ever have, I have lost 45 pounds, 10 more and I am back to my weight at 21 and I think she has noticed that way more than the alcohol free person.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
