b4s I have been doing some reading in a book called Why marraiges succeed or fail by John Gottman. It seems the 4 horseman have set up residence in your M, critizizing, contempt, defensivness and stonewalling. Also your thoughts dictate your awarness. Try an experiment. No matter what think positive about your W, understand that her anger comes from deep hurt and be the one to lead you both back to a better place. The key is to think and look at her in a positive way, no matter what. Be kind to her, be gentle, be patient, even when she is behaving cruel to you, love her unconditionally. Work on growing as a person. Bruce Fisher has a great book called Loving Choices that could really help you. One of you has to break the cycle, take one for the team. She has not left yet, she is waiting for you to love her. I believe if you do that she will eventually come around, but you have to eliminate the 4 horseman from you behaviour first. Give it a try for a few months, see what happens. 4
